Today’s Menu:
Cup of Blueberry Juice – I have this everyday. I honestly believe that it helps with my skin.
Huge fruit/protien smoothie – Once again, the anti-oxidants in this are insane.
Mixed Greens Salad with slices of chicken
Sparkling water
I may need to eat a little more today. The fruit smoothie has a lot of calories though so I usually chill out when I have one for breakfast. My goal is 10 lbs down in the next 30 days which shouldn’t be too hard as I am going from doing not all that much to a lot. I’m also deciding on if I am going to go for riding or pure strength build so how much I need to go down total will be dependent on what I decide there.
Today I need to fix a laptop, work out, go to Aikido and then do some Zen Training (my first ever). I’m hoping tonight to get some more work done on the book once I get home.
How about those unemployment figures? Yeah. =(
Cardio
Bike: 12.6 Miles
Tredmill: 3 miles, variable speed.
Other:
Aikido: Two hours
Notes:
Aikido has been bothering except for today. It seems that if I work out before I do Aikido, the joint pain from Aikido is reduced by almost half. This is a HUGE discovery. Biking does not hurt me at all, (besides being a little out of shape) save for my back starting to act up a little bit. Running does not hurt my back AT ALL. I did take it relatively easy with the biking and running because this is my first day “back” so to speak. I wanted to see if it was going to be terribly painful after I stopped or if I was going to be too hurty/tired to go to Aikido. It seems that I was fine on both counts. Oh and my asthma has NOT been bothering me either. Will be going back to the gym tomorrow for more running and another 12.6 mile bike ride (that is how far to the gym and back.) I’d love to get my 25 mile rides back but I think that is waaaay premature at the moment.
I have taken two aspirin before bed though just in case. I do have the perscrption pain killers and muscle relaxants but I don’t feel I need them so I won’t take.
First, a few photos. The heat and the sun made the plants get a little wild and start to fill out. I’m looking forward to what this is going to look like come August.
Back Deck June 2009
Back Deck June 2009 no2.
So that’s the nice part of this post. Now the “I dunno.. not good but not bad” part of this post.
I’m going through a little something right now. I’m having to eat some of my words which I did mean 100% at the time when I said them. Then something comes along and changes things a bit and its like a slap to the face and I realize that maybe I don’t feel quite that way anymore, at least not in this situation.
The worse part is that sometimes you want to say things but you can’t because you are so afraid of pushing the person you want to say it to away. What makes it even worse is when you’re someone known for your honesty, even when it causes pain or difficulty. So it becomes a cage- you want to say something, you want to be honest, you want to be upfront, but you can’t because if you do, you know that the person is going to run so hard and so fast, especially that’s just what they’ve always done. So you sit there feeling all icky because you can’t be honest and you can’t do anything but watch it all, knowing how it goes, wondering if there was ever a way to make it better or not that you wonder if there is a way to make it better, because you know there is, but you are only one woman and its a two way street and you cannot control other people, nor would you really want to.
So you just sit there, knowing you’re going to be sad. Knowing that you can’t do what you want to do. Knowing you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. How does one live with that and not go a little bit crazy inside?
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